


Oh my god, you're so cute

by 127774



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:26:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24246478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/127774/pseuds/127774
Summary: A collection of works based of the the writing prompt "oh my god, you're so cute". So far it's real domestic, real fluffy stuff.
Relationships: Rosa Diaz/Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	1. Cuddle Pile

Rosa stretched massively with a small groan. She was in pure bliss as she dropped an arm around Jake's chest and snuggled into Amy. It had started as her and Jake playing video games with Amy reading next them on the sofa and had just descended into an all out cuddle pile. Not that she was complaining, what with having Jake in her arms tapping on his phone and Amy absent mindedly stroking her hair while still reading. 

Rosa could feel her eyes drooping. She'd been burning the candle at both ends for what seemed like forever working on a case that she had finally managed to close. It had been exhausting but so worth it to see the sons of bitches locked up. Admittedly, the lectures and worried looks from her partners hadn't been great, Jake and Amy both thought she'd been over doing it, but none of that mattered anymore. The case was solved, she'd slept for a solid 15 hours, had eaten her first good meal in what seemed like days and now she could lie here in her lover's arms for as long as she liked. Life was beautiful.

Jake glanced up for a moment as Rosa woke stretching, wondering if she was going to wake up fully. As it was, she just shifted a little before going back to sleep. He sighed, happy to be relaxing for the first time in forever. Things had been so tense lately with Rosa’s case. She’d been working herself to the bone which had made it kind of hard to be around her what with the whole anger, obsession, paranoia and general sense that she was a barely contained force of nature. That combined with the worry that the case was going to kill her and not to mention the fact that they also had heavy workloads had made life way too stressful for Jake.

“You guys know we have to move soon?” Amy said not looking up from her book then added “family game night, we’re hoisting this week”

The only response was groans along the theme of no way and not happening. Amy went back to her book, she’d finished all the preparations before joining Jake and Rosa so when their guests arrived all she’d have to do would be open the door and pour drinks. Granted, they were all in pyjamas but they still had nearly an hour before anyone arrived so there was no reason to leap up just yet. She sighed and snuggled closer to them, enjoying the moment.

Gina tried to block out the sound of Charles's voice. She'd made the mistake of mentioning food and it had all gone wrong. She was pretty sure he was talking about chicken necks, or maybe assholes?

"Ew, Charles tell me there isn't some nasty bits of chicken in that pot" she said as they got out of the car.

"No" he squeaked, very obviously lying "would I? I would never"

"Ugh! It's bad enough you make me help with nasty mess and get it over here an hour early" Gina groaned "but now you're telling it's got chicken butts in it?"

"First of all cul de poule is a delicacy" Charles said earnestly "and secondly"

Gina tuned him out again as they carried the pot into the building. She came back for the end of his sentence.

"And you know this is great for if you're sick and with Rosa being so out of it lately I thought this might calm her down" he finished with a shrug.

"Amen brother, but why are bringing it to Jake and Amy's place?" Gina asked despite having no interest in the answer.

"I don't know where Rosa lives" he said as they reached the door.

"Just open it, I want to put this thing down" 

He rummaged for his keys and froze as he put them in the lock.

"Oh my god! What if they're kissing!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"Ew Charles, I know it's hard for you but can you stop being gross and just open the door" Gina said.

"No promises" he said as they stepped inside then froze, saying in deep confusion "What, what am I looking at here?"

Amy and Jake's heads snapped around at the sound of Charles's voice. Amy had suddenly become very aware that the word pyjamas was maybe pushing it. She was definitely the most dressed with leggings and a t-shirt and Rosa wasn't too bad in a tight fit tank and short shorts but Jake? Jake was lying on the sofa in Rosa's arms in nothing but his boxers. There was no mistaking what was going on here. She sat with her hand frozen in Rosa's hair as her and Jake just erred hoping the other would think of a plausible explanation. 

"Well it seems pretty clear to me that our three friends entered into a polygamous relationship at some point. Judging by the fact that Rosa is asleep with them and that her dog, hey Arlo, is here I'd say it's a pretty close and emotional intimate one" Gina stated matter of factly then turned back to the three of them snapping a pic and adding "Charles made Rosa soup, it's probably nasty"

The quip about his soup was enough to bring Charles back to earth. 

"First of all, the soup is not nasty and secondly, guys is this true? Are you three… Is Rosa your paramore?" He asked in a disgustingly Charles way.

This triggered a round of ews and ughs from the other three which seemed to break the spell.

Amy chose to ignore his question "Jake, go get dressed"

"Why? It's Charles and Gina, they've both seen me naked" he said shrugging.

"Don't feel the need on our account, your intimacy is intoxicating" Charles said, setting off yet more ews and ughs.

"And I'm going to go get dressed" Jake said trying to jump up.

Unfortunately Rosa, who had slept through the whole thing, had other ideas. As he tried to stand her arm instinctively tightened around his chest and pulled him back. She grunted something that sounded like no in her sleep.

"Well I guess I'm staying in my underwear" Jake said resignedly.

Amy gave him a look.

"What?" He said a little defensively "you know I can't get out of this. She is much stronger than I am"

"Come on man just go" she said.

"Oh you want to be the one to wake her up?" Jake said, his voice tinged with affectionate terror for the woman sandwiched between them.

When Amy only erred in response he added "Yeah, didn't think so"

"Oh my God you guys are so cute" Gina said, Charles beaming next to her.


	2. We love you too

Rosa talks in her sleep. It wasn't a surprise to either Jake or Amy, and what she said wasn't much of a surprise either.

"I'll kill… I'm going to kill you grandma"

"I burned… I burned your house down"

"I'm… I'm going to break your face… mama"

And so on. Jake and Amy found it a little worrying at first but got used to it fairly quickly. That was why when Rosa fell asleep next to them after her night shift, they didn't think anything of her half mumbled threats. That was until…

"Jake, Amy…" Rosa muttered

Jake looked up at Amy and whispered "bet you a week of dishes she threatens to disembowel us"

"You're on Peralta" Amy whispered back, folding her arms.

"Jake, Amy I… I love you" she grunted, rolling over.

Jake's head spun from his sleeping partner to Amy, face stretched in pure joy.

It was nearly three by the time Rosa got out of bed and mooched her way into the kitchen looking for something to eat. She sat down at the table with a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee, eyeing her partners suspiciously. They kept shooting each other and her funny looks.

"Soooo Rosa, have any interesting dreams?" Jake asked grinning.

"What?" Rosa asked in confusion.

"Oh nothing" Amy said with obviously fake nonchalance "We were just wondering how you slept, if you had sweet dreams"

Rosa glanced between her two grinning morons and said "What is going on guys, what are you talking about?"

"Nothing" they both chimed in snickering.

"One of you better tell me what's up before someone gets hurt" Rosa snarled.

"You wouldn't hurt us" Jake said, grin still plastered all over his face.

"Nu hu, you love us" Amy said in a singsong voice.

"What?" Rosa repeated, still not following.

"This morning when you were talking in your sleep you said you love us" Jake said.

Rosa looked like a rabbit in the headlights. Professions of love and affection were not her thing and she'd usually had to have been drinking before working up the nerve to say something like that. Now her stupid sleeping brain had just let it slip out like an idiot.

"Oh damn, I guess this is happening now" She said and taking a deep breath went on "Err… Jake, Amy, I love you guys. You don't have to say anything, in fact this is stupid and I'll just go now"

She went to get up but before she could move, Jake had dashed across the room shouting and gotten a hold of her shoulders, stopping her from standing.

"Waitwaitwait" he shouted as he moved "Rosa, you don't have to go"

He grinned and kissed the top her head; meanwhile Amy had reached across the table and taken her hands.

"Babe, we love you to" Amy said smiling "So much"

"So much" Jake chimed in from above her.

"And I'm sorry you didn't get to say that on your own terms" Amy went on.

"No, it's fine. I probably never would have said it otherwise" Rosa said, having moved past her moment of panic then added "You can both let go. Now."

They drew back instantly, in love or not Rosa was still Rosa. But as she went back to her breakfast there was a definite grin on her face.

"God, you're so cute" Jake said as he leapt out of range.


	3. Binders

"What are you doing?" Rosa asked arms folded.

Jake, who was rummaging through Amy's impressive stationary collection, looked up. He looked like a little boy who'd been court with is hand in the cookie jar.

"Looking for a binder?" He said innocently.

"Does this plan involve me in any way?" Rosa asked stoically.

"No, it's between me and Holt" he said in what Rosa recognised as his honest squeak.

"Alright, I'm in" she said, joining him in the search "What's the plan?"

She rolled her eyes at the ridiculously shocked and happy look on his face.

"Holt said that I'm too disorganized to solve a puzzle where all the clues are from NYPD cases and public records. I need to solve it before him an Amy do and I need to do it in the most organized way possible" Jake said, still rummaging "Ergo I need a binder"

"Maybe don't set your sights so high" she said then added at his hurt look "As in solve it and be super organized but don't get upset when they solve it fist"

"I could so beat them in a puzzle solving contest" he said in his trying to convince himself voice and before she could say anything he exclaimed loudly "AH HA HA HA! Binders"

She rolled her eyes again "One problem dude, they're already full and have names on…" she trailed off.

There was a whole shelf full of neatly organised and colour coded binders, all of which had someone's name on. They were both there along with the rest of the squad, Amy’s family, their parents and quite a few others.

Rosa pulled up a chair and grabbed the one with her own name on it. She flicked through in mounting confusion.

"Should, should we really be reading these? It feels like reading her diary or something" Jake said hesitantly.

"They've got our names" Rosa said "it looks like a profile"

"Lemme see" Jake said leaning forward but she snapped it shut and gave him a look.

"Right, okay, I'll grab my own then" he said and when he'd opened it exclaimed "There's an entire tab for die hard in here, and sneakers"

“Mine’s got a lot of stuff about motorcycles and weapons” Rosa said.

“Are we dating a spy?” Jake asked excitedly.

Rosa looked like she was seriously considering the possibility then added “It is also possible that this is normal Santiago stuff. I could see the whole family keeping binders like this about everyone they know”

“Hey does yours have a section on what to do if you’re sad?” Jake asked looking up “Mine says to wrap in a blanket, put die hard on and give stickers”

Rosa flicked to another page and said “Give space, ensure socked up on moose tracks and ask before offering any physical reassurance”

“Hu, she knows us so well” Jake said smiling “Hey, what was your GPA? I bet mine was better, I was grate in high school”

She glanced at his binder and said “it wasn’t” then, smiling, added “Mine doesn’t have any history before I joined the NYPD, just a note saying I prefer to share this information”

“Wow, she knows use really well” Jake said

Rosa nodded and looking up at the shelf and pulled Boyles down.

“Hey now that is defiantly wrong” Jake said reaching for it.

“Oh wow, none of this is surprising” Rosa said, easily fighting Jake off while she read “he’s not got a food tab, he’s got tabs for separate cuisines”

Jake stopped struggling and started reading Charles binder over her shoulder “Hey, turn to the sad bit”

She flicked through until “provide food from comfort food list (see food, preferences), ensure access to dogs, prevent from eating hard boiled eggs, inform Jake or Rosa. Why do I have to be informed?” Rosa asked in annoyance.

Jake turned his attention back to the shelf and asked nervously “Would it be wrong to read Captain Holt’s?”

“Yes. Should we do it anyway?” Rosa asked.

They both hesitated for a long moment before the sound of the door opening made them jump. Their heads spun around to see Amy standing in the door way. She looked deeply suspicious at their very guilty faces. She folded her arms, waiting for an explanation.

“We were looking for a binder?” Jake said tentatively and when she didn’t respond he went on “What we were! Tell her Rosa”

Instead of answering the assumed question Rosa asked “What is all this?”

It was Amy’s turn to look defensive “they’re my binders, I keep binders on people”

“Why?” Jake asked in deep confusion while Rosa settled for a raised eyebrow.

“Oh don’t act like it’s a big deal, I have binders on everything! I have a binder for every hairdresser and barber within fifteen minutes of here, the precinct and Rosa’s apartment” Amy exclaimed then added “And anyway, all of the information in those is stuff people have told me or is publicly available”

“Like that helps!” Jake exclaimed.

“When you say publicly available, how far into public records did you have go?” Rosa asked.

“Not that far” Amy said looking away “I make them for everyone I care about. So I can keep everything I know about them organised and always know how to help them if they need it and so I can always get them gifts they want and not get them the same thing twice or arrange activities they like. It’s not that weird to want to know the people you care about and find out about the stuff they like!”

“Do you have ones for your enemies as well?” Rosa asked.

“Maybe” Amy said.

“That’s dope” Rosa said smiling.

Jake grinned “Aw babe, you’re so cute!”

“And very creepy” Rosa added approvingly.


	4. Dinner

Jake wasn’t having a good time. He was having a great time as he was currently engaged in an all-out Nerf war with Rosa that had somehow turned into strip Nerf. It had started with video games and that had descended into an argument about who would win an actual shoot out and one thing had just led to another. It defiantly beat strip poker. He was currently hauled up behind the sofa and was down to his boxers and a vest. Meanwhile Rosa had flipped the dining table to use as a shield and was also down to her underwear and, thanks to a half point, an open shirt. Despite everything he had a nagging feeling they was something he’d forgotten, something very important. He pushed the feeling aside because thanks to some trick shots that would have been so cool if they hadn’t missed he was down to his last shot.

“Last chance to surrender Diaz, I’m done playing nice!” He bluffed.

“Not happening Peralta, you’re down to your last dart” She shot back.

“How could you possibly know that?” He said astonished and getting desperate.

She laughed gleefully and said “Because I can count, you’re using the Wolf LR 1 and we’ve only got 12 darts for that. I’m holding 11 of them”

“Well that’s all you know” He said as if he had a plan.

He reviewed his options. He could accept defeat gracefully, _as if_. He could also try to get one more hit in before the apparently inevitable happened or he could try and fight her for the darts but he would defiantly lose. Either way, this was only going to end one way. He grinned excitedly at the thought but before he could leap up to go down in a blaze of glory he heard the key in the lock. Yes! Amy was home, now how to use this to his advantage before Rosa did.

“Amy!” he exclaimed not looking around when the door opened “I’m in a strip Nerf war with Rosa and I- I- ah- ha- Mr Santiago!”

He stared in horror at the sight of his farther in law standing in the doorway with Amy. They looked shocked but he could tell Amy was transitioning into blind fury very quickly. He heard a very soft “Oh shit, dinner” from the other side of the room.

“WHAT the hell guys!” Amy shouted “We’re having dinner with my parents tonight! We have to be at the restaurant in less than an hour and you’re playing strip Nerf? _Seriously?”_

“Damn it man, you told me that was tomorrow!” Rosa shouted at Jake, not getting up from her hiding place.

“I thought it was” Jake said desperately struggling into his pants “You said it was on Friday”

“Jake, it is Friday” Victor said shaking his head with a disbelieving laugh.

“Really?” Jake asked equally disbelievingly.

“Jake, pants!” Rosa snapped from behind the table.

“I know! I’m putting them on!” He said defensively.

“No you idiot, my pants!” Throw me my pants!” She said.

“Oh, okay” He said looking around for the article and throwing them over.

A minuet latter Rosa stood up, shirt done up, pants on and trying to look as dignified as the situation allowed.

“Mr Santiago, nice to see you again” She said as if nothing had happened.

“Just go get dressed!” Amy snarled.

They didn’t need telling twice as they shot from the room to escape Amy’s fury. As they entered the bedroom and started hastily getting their stuff together Jake whispered “How much trouble?”

“Soooo much” She said equally quietly.

“At least he didn’t see your underwear” Jake muttered.

Rosa had to suppress a laugh that turned in to a snarl of range and frustration when Jake suddenly yelled “I call dibs on the bathroom!”

He shot from the room before she had a chance to stop him and slammed door in her face. She banged hard on the door.

“God damn it Peralta!” She yelled “You don’t even wear makeup and your hair takes seconds”

“JAKE!” Amy yelled from the living room “let Rosa use the bathroom or so help me GOD I WILL END YOU”

He opened the door quickly, not sure who he was more afraid of at this moment as Rosa assured him he would pay for this. They rushed through getting ready in record time, neither could be sure exactly when it turned in to a race but by the end it defiantly was. In the end it was Jake who leapt his feet first by seconds.

“In your face Diaz!” He yelled forgetting for a minuet Amy’s fury.

“God damn it!” She said then looking up added “Hey no way man! You still need a tie!”

“What? No I don’t” He responded then, when Amy made it very clear from the other room that he did need a tie, added “Oh, apparently I do”

“Ha! You lose again Peralta” Rosa said as she left the room.

“Rosa, wait! No” He called but she ignored him.

In the excitement of once again beating her boyfriend, Rosa practically strutted into in the living room. She stopped short when the reality of the situation hit her once again. She tried very hard not to look at Amy, who looked like she could commit murder, or at her farther in law, who looked like he was in shock. A sight of Jake in his undies could do that to a man. Unfortunately that meant looking around the room which was a mess. And covered in discarded clothes. Why had he had to qualify it as strip Nerf? The silence seemed to draw words from her. God, having in-laws was so annoying. And awkward.

“Don’t worry, Jake’s almost ready” She said to Amy in the hope of calming her even a little bit, then added in the silence “So er… Mr Santiago, how are you?”

He was saved the trouble of answering by Jake, who was shouting from the other room.

“Rosa” He whined “Help”

“What?” She yelled back.

He appeared in the door with possibly the worst ever tied tie.

“Dude, how do you still not know how to tie a tie?” She snapped “I even taught you back in the academy”

“Don’t you have to wear a tie to work?” Victor asked.

“I have one tie and I never untie it or I get Boyle to tie it” Jake said as if that was obvious.

“How are we together?” Amy said in disbelief, much calmer now it was clear they weren’t going to be late.

“God damn it man, it’s not hard” Rosa said spinning him around and forcing him down so she could reach over his shoulders to tie it.

There was a heavy silence in the car on the way to the restaurant and neither Jake, Rosa nor Amy had any idea how to brake it after everything that had happened. Apparently Victor had no such issues.

“So Jake, Rosa” He started, an amused glint in his eye “What exactly is strip Nerf?”

“Oh God” Amy said quietly, not taking her eyes off the road. Meanwhile Rosa put a hand over her eyes but otherwise didn’t acknowledge the question and Jake floundered.

“It’s erm… It’s nothing. It’s a not thing, not a thing. An un-thing” He said and when no one said anything just kept talking “it’s a game, not really a game exactly. Oh God”

“Just shut up man” Rosa said, not taking the hand from her eyes.

Victor laughed much to the surprise of all three of them and turned to his daughter, who still wasn’t looking away from the road.

“You know, when you first told us about this I didn’t understand” He said then laughed again “But this? This I understand”

“What?” Amy asked, putting aside her immeasurable horror at the situation.

He laughed again “This, everyone gets caught by their parents at least once. It’s happened to you brothers, although none of them were playing strip Nerf, that’s a new one. It even happened to me and your mother, more than once.” He smiled at the recollection and went on “It’s the most embarrassing thing in the world when you get caught, but when you’re doing the catching? It’s just funny and the embarrassment? Very cute”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh btw, pretty much everything I've got for this series is based on writing prompts I got from the internet so like, if y'all have any ideas or any kind of interactions/situations you want to read of these three just leave it in the comments and there is a fairly good chance I'll make it into a chapter. It's all about the cute-ness here so what ever you give me, that's that light it's going to be in. I've been thinking about doing another darker, more serious collection of one shots. Give me a shout if you'd be into that or have any idea's for it. Any way thanks for reading and such


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